The 12 Month Yarn Diet

There, that's an eye-catching title for an entry on a knitting blog: "How to Reduce Your Stash to Something the Size of the Boney Olsen Twin(Ican'trememberwhichonethatis)'s Lunch!"*

I'm on a 12 month yarn fast because I've made a decision - if the next year doesn't bring me reasons to stay in OrlanDUH, I'm pulling up stakes and moving - first choice is back to MD, but if my pal in Coral Gables comes through with a real job offer and not just flirtation, I'd go South. I'm not in a position to move right now. Too much debt, my dad is in very bad shape (on hospice, actually) and, like it or not, I am the responsible adult on board so I have to be somewhat nearby, generally too many loose ends of middle aged adulthood to tie up here.

But I am very discouraged about my job hunt here in Mousetown - salaries are low, expectations are low, nobody can afford me and nobody really wants what I can do. If they can get a Bimbolegal to send out canned discovery and sort the incoming stuff, that's all they really want. 3-4 years of experience and that'll get you UP TO 35K!!! Yes, there are jobs in my bracket, I know people who have them, but they don't come open that often. I'll keep looking, maybe I'll get one. In the meantime, it's time for a backup plan. And going back to MD is in it. I could make a "lateral move" and make at least 5% more money, and the cost of living is actually LOWER. Even a brief investigation indicates I'd net out at least 10% ahead.

See, this is the big lie Florida tells - they present this view to the rest of the country that you can come here and live in this lovely low cost of living, snow free paradise. The reality is that a little bitty house on my street goes for well over a quarter mil and it's considered a bargain, meanwhile, the average salary is lingering well below 40K. The economy is heavily service based, and, in Orlanduh, heavily influenced by "major employers" like Mauschwitz and MalWart, exploiting employing thousands on part time and seasonal, no benefits, no future, live with four roommates and eat a lot of ramen noodles wages. In a logical world the retail and theme park salary scales would not spill over into other industries, but here, somehow, they do. I have had attorneys in non-FL cities tell me that with my background I'd be making 90K there. I ain't making nowhere near that here. And here, the average person can't buy that average little bitty 1500 square foot house. My friend L is a single mother, good job, makes more money than I do, and can't buy a house. If she's still in that boat in a year I'll ask her if she wants to rent this place - it's in the Primo School District. Which means the schools are barely adequate by national standards.

I've been here 24 years and barely have my nose above the water, paddling like hell. I am a college graduate with a solid background in complex litigation, construction law, real estate, business, and real life. Drop my ass into the middle of any complex commercial litgation case on the planet and I will sort it out in a week and be able to backstage manage it all in two weeks. That's not bragging, it's just what I do. But here there are like 12 jobs like that. If I'm going to be living on tuna in my old age then dammit, I'm going to do it in a city with museums and parks and places worth visiting for free. And I've seen what we have here and it's a joke and it blows.

So that's what I'm thinkin' - and that's why I'm now on the 12 month yarn diet, as well as in general "Have I used this in the past three years? No? It's outta here!" mode.

The kids are also regrouping, rethinking - they may stay in FL but they will in all likelihood blow outta Orlanduh too. This is truly the wasteland of the state, career-wise - even Jacksonville, long ridiculed as "Cleveland with Rednecks" among my friends, has grown up to be a really nice, prosperous, fun city. I've always called it Baltimore with Palm Trees, and it turns out I was more accurate in my assessment -the two cities have much in common. I'd consider moving there. My prospects in general would be better. But I'm leaning toward Baltimore as a better place to be. I have family in Anne Arundel Co. and the District. I have friends there. I have professional ties as well, because I've worked for international companies for years. I could transition back to my Native Land with only moderate re-entry shock - I haven't driven on ice in over two decades, but I can buy a Subaru and it will come back to me, like riding a bicycle - or something.

So that is where I am, Monday, June 20th, 2005. Florida has 12 months to make up to me and change my mind, or the Bossy Dog and I (and Boris)will be on 95, heading North, come this time next year.

Fiber talk - I have been crocheting the green jacket, but over the weekend I had a deep need to work with pretty colors and shiny things. So I dragged out the Berroco Zen from the Stash, and I'm working on Hannan in the Mt. Fuji colorway. I love it.

Oh, and check out the free dog sweater pattern on the website - or rather, Who's wearing it.

Bostons are a family tradition in my family - my grandparents had them, my parents had one before I was born. My dad is very pleased that my daughter has brought Bostons back to the family. And Dudley could not be a better choice, he's an angel.

*I'm not mocking the poor wee Olsen Twin's awful eating disorder, just the sick obsession in the media. They wring their hands about it but make a point of featuring her thinness in every tabloid. Sick mixed messages, anyone?