"What's the vector, Victor?"

I still don't know where I'm going or when. This week is a train wreck. The Big Scary Project Worth Millions is almost wrapped up, I hope I hope I hope. Note the critical word "almost." If the guy who has a parental crisis in another state can stick around another day and do most of the heavy lifting before rushing to the airport tomorrow, I can stay too. My crisis is only two hours away by car and I managed a relatively lighter load, (at least to me, since his load involved Math, and mine Words)and I need to stick around too. Besides, I have no idea what the hell is going on from one day to the next, so I may be planning this big face-to-face discussion and by the time I can get over there they may have shipped my father somewhere else, because hospitals do that. So I'm taking it one crisis and one phone call at a time. Michelob Ultra is helping me prioritize the crises.

On to Fashion! Longtime readers (Bess) will remember my rants against the abomination before the fashion gods that this generation is calling capri pants. Those baggy-assed, bellbottomed highwaters are NOT capri pants. Audrey Hepburn wore capri pants. She would have shrieked (a ladylike shriek) if presented with the capri pants of today. I cringe when I see women my age wearing them - did you not SEE the movies? Did you not Get the Memo from Either of the Great Hepburns, who even from beyond the grave can guide us past all fashion faux pas?

But, there is hope! A new shape and form has arrived, and it is (in keeping with the theme of Getting All This Shit Wrong) being called Bermuda Shorts. But they're actually...capri pants. They stop at the right point below the knee, like real capri pants, not in the middle of the widest part of the calf or, God help us, below the calf, like those wide, flared, ugly schmattas posing as capri pants today. The new style is too long to be real Bermuda shorts, (which I am pretty sure go to the knee, not below, unless everyone in Bermuda wears 'em wrong). What the hell, call them what you will, at least it works. Girlchild the Fashionista bought a pair at Express and I approve. They are just right with a low-heeled sandal, casual, yet not shorts. Despite their misnomer. I'll wear them.

I talked to my mother and we had a long, detailed conversation. She is holding up well. I knew she had it in her, but I'm still impressed. I told her I can't get over there until Friday and she was okay with that. We'll talk tomorrow and regroup.