I'm worn out and I spent money like a madwoman all weekend. Not on anything fun or self-indulgent, either. It all started when I started to clean my room, and realized my sheets had holes in them. Like the leaking coffeepot, some things just stir you to action, you know? I bought these sheets. I really, really like them, they are luxuriously soft. I absolutely will buy another set. I bought a new hypoallergenic mattress pad that actually fits my mattress properly. The old one was a shrunken mess. New pillows - anybody else see the disgusting story about how many dust mites live in your pillow? I realized I couldn't remember how old those pillows were, and eeew. A drop spreader because I need to fertilize the lawn. Food. I bought the Girlchild a set of pillows and the mattress pad, but didn't buy her bedding since she needs to pick that out for herself. If she ever gets a day off work. The theme park without mice or whales is very busy and understaffed and she's working her ass off. Making decent money, at least, but at a price. She's exhausted, and when she's off she just wants to sleep.
Deb called my attention to this interesting stash management scheme: The Yarn Focus Challenge. I'm not sure it's for me, since I can easily go over a month without buying yarn these days, but it's an interesting and useful way to separate the craving from the need.
I'm still puzzling over the ideal work shawl. It doesn't have to be delicate and lacy, in fact drapey and casual would be much more appropriate. I've mentally (and physically) reviewed the stash and didn't come up with a winner.
Double damn. While I was writing this entry my mother called. My father's condition is worse, she's crying on the phone, but I think that maybe I got through to her - he needs to be hospitalized, evaluated, stabilized if they can, and then (if) when he comes home, she needs to get hospice services in, ASAP. She's exhaused and stressed and she's dealing with this all alone, and he is being difficult. He's already getting oxygen through hospice, and they brought a walker with a seat, so he can sit down when he's tired. He didn't like it and won't use it. Okaaaay. They would both benefit enormously from hospice, and it makes me crazy that they will not use all the services available to them. I told her that if he is not put in the hospital tomorrow I am going to call/visit the doctor myself and raise hell. I don't give a SHIT what he wants, he's killing himself and her at this point. Goddammit, this is EXACTLY why I wanted them to move closer to me years ago - because I saw this day coming, even though they were in cheery denial. Fuck.
This is going to be a long, hard week.
9 comments:
I've never met/seen your parents. But don't be surprised when your father balks or you don't get anything but grief from either of them.
The sheets are a good investment--a 300-thread count will last for years. Pillows... yeah, it's amazing how long you go then suddenly realize the pillows you have are disgusting and need to be replaced.
We have to be more careful with cash, so no more buying yarn for me, even from E-Bay. I'll have to satisfy my yarn cravings with thrift shop sweaters.
In our hard, highly chlorinated water 300 count lasts a couple of years, max. But it's worth it. I'm all about calculating the daily cost of an item.
I think my father is getting too weak to balk. I think I'll be over there this week. I'm hoping a few days in the hospital on IV fluids will boost him up, but I'm not optimistic.
I'm not buying anything if I can help it. I need real clothes - that's this thing about the knitting world, yarn and stashing tends to be the topic of conversation. I need appliances. Work clothes. A new camera. A more sensible car. Yarn, I do not need.
Well, all you can do is do your best regarding your parents. Just don't let it make you too crazy.
You do get caught up in the whole yarn/stashing thing. I now have 3-4 boxes of yarn--plenty to keep me busy--and don't need more. It's always tempting when you see something pretty, but like you say, yarn I do not need.
For your shawl, you want something that can take frequent wear and tear, so I'd recommend something more durable--that means things like merino are not a good bet. I also wouldn't use anything pricey--the gorgeous, expensive yarns tend not to stand up to a lot of wear.
For the type of shawl you're thinking of, I'd recommend a DK-weight wool or wool/cotton mix. Maybe something like Brown Sheep's Top of the Lamb, Cotton Fleece, or Cotton Fine. KnitPicks also has some nice yarns, and for basic wool yarn at a reasonable price (and in a nice range of colours) I'd recommend Jamieson & Sons in Shetland or Briggs and Little in New Brunswick. For Jamieson, you want either their 2-ply lace or "jumper weight" yarns for something lightweight. If you put in a request, Briggs and Little will send you a full sampler card of all their yarns--and they have no problems selling to the US. I love their "Quoddy Blue" shade myself. It was something for me to order yarn from a company that my mother remembers HER mother ordering from. The service at both companies is really good.
I've also heard good things about Malabrigo yarns, but I'm a little hesitant about the difficulties of bringing something in from South America.
http://www.shetland-wool-brokers.zetnet.co.uk/
http://www.briggsandlittle.com/wool/default.htm
http://www.malabrigoyarn.com/
My thoughts are with you this week... good luck!
I'm so sorry about your parents. I'm pretty sure a lot of people can relate. I had my own similar story with my grandmother, who even lived with us for a year. Being close didn't make it easier! It made me feel like I was doing the right thing for her, but it was extremely draining on our family.
People just don't like to admit that they have reached a point where they need help or need to give up control of their lives. Even if they were living near you, it wouldn't necessarily be easier because the burden to solve all these problems would be even more directly on your shoulders. You'd be at their house night and day.
You might be willing to do that, but it would take a toll.
It's very hard, there's no getting around it. I hope you can convince them to get the help they need.
Sending you hugs and a huge Guilt Eraser because It Is Not Your Fault and It Is Not Your Responsibility To Make Someone Do Wise Things and YOU ARE NOT A BAD DAUGHTER IF YOU LET YOUR PARENTS DO WHAT THEY SAY THEY WANT NO MATTER HOW STUPID OR DANGEROUS IT IS.
You are a good wise kind generous daughter and don't you ever forget it. Sometimes loving someone means letting them smash into a wall because that was what the insisted upon doing.
And you have a great hair cut. That is a prize worth cherrishing.
my grandmother had to put my grandfather in a nursing home, when the doctor told her that if she didn't, he'd be writing a death certificate for her. now, i'm sure the situation isn't quite THAT dire, but your mother needs to realize that she can't take care of him as he is any more, and let someone else help. (also, my grandmother was 79 & my grandfather was 89).
yummy sheets sound good, i think i need to invest in some
Gaahh! When did we become the parents. I'm not ready to be a parent, that's why I don't have kids yet. What makes the world think I'd be a good parent to a 77 and an 83 year old?
Don't forget to try the guilt thing to make them do what you want
What about this pattern for a shawl?
http://www.littleknits.com/proddetail.php?prod=SwirlHarvest
hell, i've not finished being a parent to my boys, and i'm mothering my mother! talk about ham on rye, grilled! (the sandwich generation they talk about). hang in there, dear. i won't say it will get better, because it will, eventually (if not sadly). then it will be your turn to be the cranky old woman who tells "the girl" how to live her life, and how to take care of her.
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