I realized today that next week, after I am (once again) sworn in as a Realtor, I will have to start dressing professionally on a regular basis. "Professionally," in this sense, is really relaxed, think hot weather business casual. Last year I spent much of my client time climbing around potential homesites, and jeans and boots were the appropriate attire - and it was much, much cooler. I need to retool for hot weather business casual, so late this afternoon I headed for the mall.
Where I wandered in stunned horror, gawking at the atrocities the Fashion Powers That Be have wrought.
1) The FPTB have declared that this year, we will ALL wear some variation on the blouson top and LIKE IT, you ungrateful wretches! Last year everything had a ridiculous bib of ruffles down the front, and good luck finding anything that wasn't either bib-ruffled or the by now ubiquitous drape neck (which I actually like, but I didn't want an entire wardrobe of only that one style). This year, it's a bunchy band of elastic at the waist. Because there is nothing more flattering to the female form than a baggy blouse hitched in at the waistline with a strip of elastic. It makes a skinny woman look like she's wearing a pillowcase, and a heavier woman look like a sack of laundry. It is universally unflattering and neither sexy nor professional, and it is Effing EVERYWHERE! Well, nearly everywhere - Ralph Lauren and Donna Karan are holding the line on flattering, classic clothing. But I can't afford a new wardrobe from either line (hell, I can't afford a pair of socks from them at the moment) and everything else was really, really ugly. Depressingly ugly. And I need clothes. I really do.
2) Those effing ugly laundry sack tops are in very bright colors and wild prints. I like bright colors - I love lime green, turquoise, purple, red, royal blue. I love color, but these Pucci-reject patterns in those ugly styles scorched my retinas. Apparently the geniuses behind these knockoffs missed the concept that the bright print needs a classic style. A knockoff Pucci print combined with a billowing laundry bag elastic waist is just effing ugly. I could see someone (not ME) maybe buying one of the loud, busy, billowy blouses for the occasional casual cocktail party, to wear with jeans in that "dressy enough for the beach," way, but they were freaking everywhere. I searched in vain for a few decent blouses I could wear with basic slacks and sandals for a working day in real estate in Florida. I found not squat. I will be shopping online this season.
I found some nice basics at Coldwater Creek on clearance. They aren't exciting, but I will at least be able to get dressed.
And, the Cat, Part Deux: Last night we went through our bedtime ritual, and I decided to make an extra effort to make the cat feel welcome in the bed. He does come in and get into bed when he feels like it, but I thought maybe if I gave him a special invitation something would be different, like inviting a vampire to cross the threshold. And he joined the dogs on the bed, and the dogs ignored him, and I petted him and he purred, and we had a love fest, and I turned out the light, and we all settled down.
And he went out to the living room again, and MRRRAAAAOOOOWWWW! WTF? Is he afraid of the dark?
Oh, and the perfect food, the only flavor he liked? Yeah, that lasted for three cans. He's back to licking the gravy off and walking away bitching.
3 comments:
Isn't it nice to find a little something on line,on sale, at Coldwater Creek? Love that place. Sorry about the rest..
Perhaps Higgins is so old that he's going deaf? Dogs will sometimes start bark incessantly in old age because they can't hear anything anymore. They need to connect with their kind and can't tell if anyone is out there.
It doesn't seem to matter how long those tops are---the elastic ALWAYS seems to hit me in the wrong spot. UGLY.
Brenda.
Higgins does not appear to be deaf, he comes when he's called (when it suits him, like all cats). His ears at least twitch when I speak to him, so he's hearing me. And yeah, those tops are UGLY as sin - I don't know who they flatter. They bunch up, ride up, hit in the wrong spot. They are the universal ugly - bad for skinny and zaftig alike. They were EVERYWHERE yesterday. That, and garishly patterned kaftan-like flowing things, and my absolute favorite, the kaftan-like flowing thing in screaming yellow and green, cropped short and ending with a bunchy elastic waist. I thought the attack of the ruffles was bad. This seems like a mass practical joke.
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