Said my Boss, with genuine sympathy, as he watched as I was flirted with/hit on/mildly sexually harassed by yet another outside consultant at yesterday's mediation. We're two for two now - and this one was hand-picked because we didn't want to have to deal with the other guy. Boss had worked with him before, no problems - with me there, he was, uh, goofy and showing off. The testosterone was thick in the air. At one point he suggested that I go deal with a very nasty and recalcitrant attorney - "Just go in and, like, smile, bend over while you pack up the projector...." I just laughed and screamed, "Oh my GOD! EEEEWWWW!" Boss said, "Oh my God NO, it'd be like Princess Leia with Jabba the Hutt!" And the guy said, "I always thought Princess Leia was really hot!" Alllrighty then! Maybe it's my age and experience, but I just laugh at this stuff, because it really is comical. If anyone seriously harassed me of course, I'd be all over them, but this was just funny. And I'd be lying if I didn't say it was flattering, in a goofy way.
Apparently I have that goofy effect on men these days. Even when they are pushing 50. Who knew? The weird thing is that this didn't happen this much when I was younger and objectively way hotter than I am now. I don't think it's because I've suddenly gotten that much hotter, but that men Of a Certain Age start reverting to middle school boys, just as menopausal women revert to acting like middle school girls at times. Suddenly it's Junior High with mortgages and retirement plans.
The guy left the room and I said to Boss, "Jesus Christ, we're two for two! NOW what?" and he explained to our confused client that I was hit on/stalked by the last guy I worked with, which is why this guy was here instead. It is just hilarious, and it's not like I can't handle it, but...what the HELL??? I don't think this guy will turn stalker, nor did he actually hit on me, he was just killing time in a juvenile male way. It DID liven up the hours. I can't imagine if I'd had to sit in that room with the other one, the drop-by/caller/emailer. OhmyGAWD. I'll take jokingly-leering suggestions that I go soften up the other side with my feminine wiles over the alternative ANY day.
Yesterday's mediation was extremely long and arduous (we did settle, finally!) and we were there from 10 a.m. until 11 p.m.,with a two hour drive each way. Loooong, long day. I haven't done that in years, it's really hard, especially the long drive back. No dinner in a nice restaurant - by the time we got out of the mediation everything was closed. Taco Bell on I-95, that's the glamorous life of construction law. Boss had done all the heavy brainwork - which was really quite
something to watch - he's really, really good - and got the case settled, so I didn't bitch when he reclined the seat and dozed for half the return drive. I was very tired, he was completely wiped out. As Boss said when I dropped him at his car after 1 a.m. - "Any more wins like this and they'll have to hospitalize us." We aren't in our early 30s anymore. We can still do it, but we feel it a lot more then next day.
After 4 hours' sleep I went into the office to put stuff away, input my time, check the mail and messages - and cut out at noon. I do believe I have MORE than enough comp time to take the afternoon off. Boss was not sighted, but he's not off tomorrow so he can get his time in then. I had to do it today.
I had to share this story because it ties so neatly to my shocking realization that the Great Aunts of my youth were actually the age I am now - and younger! I did the math again after reading Marie's comment below, and realized that the one I remember most clearly, very overweight in an Aunt Bea flowered dress and sensible shoes and dyed black hair and a bad perm was actually, are you sitting down? 42 years old at the time. I am 46 and apparently still able to make men act like assholes in public. Go me!
Well, actually mediation isn't like being in public, it's more like all-day detention.
Come to think of it, that's what yesterday was mostly like: "The Breakfast Club" - middle-aged version. After the opening presentations (Boss absolutely ROCKED, he was brilliant and totally prepared and full of technical information and details that scared the shit out of all the other parties and was the driving force for getting the damn case settled - he's SO amazing!) we split to separate rooms. That's how mediation generally works, the parties split off and and the mediator runs in between. We at least had a window and a nice view from the upper floor of a downtown office tower, the water, the birds, passing boats, it was not a bad place to spend an afternoon, but as afternoon turned to evening and then to past my bedtime, it wore thin. And dammit, I forgot to bring the socks I was going to knit! I could have finished an entire pair and started another in all those hours, but I was rushing to pick up Boss and walked out the door without them.
I'm glad the case settled, but I'm going to miss this client - our cases are complex and go on for a long time, years in many cases, and we really bond with the clients. This guy is a sweetheart of a good ole boy contractor, a straight shooter, nice as he could be, does his job competently and never has a problem, and got sucked into a lawsuit that was more about a vendetta against someone other than him than actual construction issues. We're glad he's out of it, but I'm going to miss him, he's a nice, nice man. I want pictures of the gift he's giving his kids for Christmas - I need to email him and ask him to send us some.
I am off work tomorrow, time to resume the painting project. I am doing no work this afternoon. I am sitting on my ass, reading blogs, knitting, goofing off. I will go to bed very early tonight. I'm getting too old for these 17 hour workdays.
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