It's hard to blog when you have no words.

I'm tired and my heart is broken. I'm sad for my country, I'm heartbroken for my grandchildren's futures. I'm angry too, because I don't for one minute think the election results pass the smell test on any level, but I also am resigned to the likelihood that nothing will be done about it. We are a goddamn banana republic now, with a preening moron fake president in charge, already selling access to the administration in ways that are so tawdry and tacky they would be hilarious in a comedy about the accidental president of the tiny Republic of Dumbfuckistan. We are Dumbfuckistan now, a subsidiary of Russia.

I can't say anything that hasn't been said by actual political writers. I still have no idea how this will end. Our best case scenario right now is four years of chaos and incoherence and dipshit presidential tweeting, until he decides it's not fun anymore and he's made enough money. Our worst? He will have the nuclear codes. Sleep tight, World! Our television media has already rolled over, especially NBC. It might have something to do with the fact that he is still planning to produce his FUCKING REALITY TV SHOW WHILE PRESIDENT! NBC has the biggest gold plated cash cow in TV history, and the conflicts all around are mind-blowing. Our media has failed us so horribly. If someone submitted this year as a movie script it would be rejected as too over the top - you can't have everything fail, that's just not believable.

And nobody will truly investigate. The Democrats will try, but the Republicans have surrendered (except for McCain and Graham and a few others) to the point of craven cowardice and actual treason. One of them even wants to investigate the CIA for telling the American people their election had been hacked. Please think about that: do you think we'll ever get a thorough investigation of any of this from these treasonous bastards? The checks and balances built into our system have cracked, and we have one party rule by people who aren't at all concerned about investigating how Russia hacked our electoral process, which means all our elections in the future will be suspect. I will never accept that serial bankrupt pathological liar game show host as our actual president.

And I do have to share this tidbit. A long while back in Facebook Years, someone I went to grade school with sent me a friend request. I accepted, thinking it might be fun, quickly realized that we truly had moved into different orbits in the last 40+ years, and hid her feed. She didn't hide mine. The other day she suddenly surfaced to say (in response to my sharing an article about the lack of educational and professional qualifications of the incoming Trump Cabinet) that education was overrated and she knew college graduates who couldn't tie their shoes or show up for work, blah blah. A couple of people on my page politely questioned this, and she backpedaled and claimed that we'd misunderstood, and began spewing talking points about how she's defending the Blue Collar Worker.

I considered quoting her own words back to her to ask what we'd all misunderstood, but instead asked her to elaborate on the qualifications of Trump's cabinet picks. (I'm seriously compressing our conversation here, because she can't say anything that isn't a big pompous speech of cut and paste right wing talking points.) I asked her how she felt about a Secretary of Labor pick who isn't in favor of the minimum wage, when she is an avowed champion of the blue collar worker? She responded that she hadn't paid that much attention but was sure that they had extensive management experience and launched into another lengthy talking point bumper sticker screed about governmental overreach and even homeowners' associations are evil and schools are government controlled and on and on, and I just didn't respond. I couldn't. I have a paperclip in my brain as a reminder of the futility of debating this shit with these people. We are a horribly divided nation, and we can thank Fox and talk radio for stoking this irrational crap for the last 30 years. It has come home to roost.

And it's a few days until Christmas, and then hey, Happy New Year! God help us.

I have been coming up with my own coping mechanisms which will be my resolutions for the coming year.

I am going to write to people who have been inspiring me lately. I owe Bluegal an email. My lame-ass excuse is that I listen to their podcast while cleaning and walking the dog, and am not near a keyboard to respond, but now I have no excuse. Their podcast has calmed my nerves for the last several weeks, because they are realistic and also positive. I'm subscribing to independent media, which is hanging on by a thread. I've always been hesitant to put myself out there online and network, but I think it's past time.

Other things too, more fun things. This was my "getting it off my chest" rant. Time to breathe, meditate, walk, knit, eat right, read good books. Treasure the now more than ever, because the Magic 8 Ball says the future is very murky.