Girlchild dropped him off yesterday, though she did not actually drop him onto his chair from a great height, as this photo suggests. She is planning to work a lot of OT for the next week, to offset the trip to New Orleans, and I was in the mood for a Dudley fix, so everybody's happy. Except Higgins. Last night we had a new milestone - all four animals occupied the couch together as we watched Dancing with the Stars, and it was a lovely moment of domestic bliss until Dudley realized Higgins was there and was overcome with the urge to kiss him. This caused Higgins to scream and run, which got Murphy all worked up because Murphy is convinced that Higgins is up to no good and would harm his baby Dudley, and always puts himself between them and chases Higgins away. For some reason Murphy doesn't mind when Boris and Dudley have a love-fest, but poor Higgins is the Odd Cat Out in the household. Higgins does not help himself one bit, however, because he tends to run through the room emitting strange little shrieks that of course make the dogs want to chase him, which causes him to shriek more and run faster, and excites the dogs more.
We had a tentative solution to the Higgins Matter in mind. My mother is without a pet and would love to have him, and the old cat and the old lady would be well suited for each other. But right now my mother is having some health problems, the severity of which is still to be determined. I have begun hinting that it may be time to consider a senior living arrangement, and I am going to call a place near here this morning and make an appointment to go check it out. I know this is going to be a nightmare - my mother can make anything a nightmare, trust me - but if she honestly can't drive or live independently and my father stupidly left her stranded in an area without senior services before he up and died, I need to move her closer to me so I can deal with this stuff without ruining my own health, working life, etc. So send me positive energy in the coming weeks and months, as if I didn't have enough to deal with already, the stage is being set for the Crazy Mother Showdown.
Poor Higgins. I can totally sympathize! I'm not a touchy feely person and yet when I'm out with my friends - after a few drinks - they feel the need to hug and hang on me. Apparently the "deer in headlights" look on my face makes me all the more huggable. Tell him it's really a no-win situation.
ReplyDeleteA friend has her mother in a wonderful assisted living place (which is probably deeper than you're going right now, but still) and her mother complained for a long time about the people using walkers and how it made the joint look like a bunch of old people lived there. I think the mother was 92 at the time. She's 100 now, and has a walker.
ReplyDeleteAnd are you sure Higgins isn't just messing with people's heads? Cats do that, you know.
The place I have in mind has a progressive level of care from independent living (with transportation, housekeeping, a dining room, etc.) in your own apartment, which I think is what my mother needs, through more supportive care, like medication monitoring, etc. I'm going to drop by this afternoon or tomorrow and do the tour and get details, because I think this situation is going to come to a head soon.
ReplyDeleteAmy - you DO understand Higgins! He's a perfectly affectionate cat on his own terms, he likes to be petted and occasionally will sit on a lap, but he HATES to be picked up, and he hates dog kisses. He tolerates the dogs as long as they leave him the hell alone, but because Boris is so affectionate, Dudley is determined to "win over" Higgins. So every time he sees the poor cat he runs up to him to give him a big, wet slobbery kiss. And Higgins screams. And runs. Dudley does not take a hint.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best of luck with your mother. I have watched my parents deal with both of their mother's in the last few years. It took my mom's mom having a stroke at home alone for everyone to finally decide she HAD to move out. It was rough for everyone involved.
ReplyDeleteYou are smart a looking at a place with progressive care. My dad's mom lived in a similar place for her last 4 years and in the final 12 months used all the services. It's nice to know it's all there and you won't have to scramble for another place that offers additional services when/if the time comes (like they had to do with my mom's mom).
I would compare this place to moving into a Homewood Suites type place, but with a staff that knows you. I toured a 1 br. that would be quite nice for my mother - hell, I'd live in it. Restaurant style meals are served, there's a small kitchenette in the unit, with a fridge, so she could make her coffee or tea or fix her own snacks, they can provide PT on site, there's a nurse available, emergency call strings in bath and bedroom, transportation to doctor appts, etc., and she can have Higgins if she wants him - pets are permitted. And most important to me, it is 20 minutes from where I am now and less than that from where I plan to move after the house sells, if I get the job that has been pending for two weeks. I don't know if this would be the last stop, if I end up going back to MD (as Vi prognosticates) there is an even better facility there, but this would be quite acceptable as an interim accommodation. And I could check on her twice a week and also have a job and a life and not go crazy from the stress. Girl could drop in and do lunch with Grandma now and then. We could pick her up and go out to eat, etc. She would not be isolated. But, as great as it all sounds, there will be an enormous drama making it happen. I will broach the subject this week.
ReplyDeleteI wish you stamina and energy to get her there. All of my mother's friends are living in a very nice place now, but she refuses to consider it. I personally think these places are godsends if you can find a good one.
ReplyDeleteKimmen
i would love for my mother to live in a place like that, as she is deaf, so t he healthwatch monitors won't work for her, but she refuses. she claims she will live in her apartment until she dies or goes in a nursing home. sigh (she's 80, too)
ReplyDeletesending you my 2007 parental luck.
ReplyDelete