I'm tickled that the least expensive model was more than enough - that never happens to me and I was braced to have to spend a grand to get what I wanted. The other models had bells and whistles I didn't care about, the thousand dollar one I expected to fall in love with was huge and had a control panel like the cockpit of a fighter plane, yet all those doodads did the same basic functions. The model I chose has electronic doodads, timers, programs, heart monitor, all that stuff, and I couldn't figure out what the hell the more expensive models had that this one was missing, so obviously I didn't need it.
I hopped onto the floor model of this one and felt right at home. It is utterly silent, smooth like silk, very sturdy and well made and will do very nicely. It has all the features I need, including a book rack. 12 months interest free financing, and it pays for itself just by canceling the gym-I-never-get-to. I'm happy! I did pop for the 3 year service contract with NordicTrack - they come once a year to tune up and calibrate everything, and of course will show up if it breaks. I've never bought anything like this before but I know fixing it isn't a home handyman job.
I am so jazzed!
Normally Queen Bess hits the body image topic right about when it's frothing to the top of my own brain, so I can just point and say, "What SHE said!" But Bess is a happily married woman, so she doesn't get to have those very special moments of body image that happen to the single. That's when an attractive man flirts with you and you suddenly realize that he is WAY more fit than you are, and suddenly every squishy bulge that you can try to overlook on a normal day is lit up with blinding searchlights in your mind. You KNOW you are being checked out, and it's uncomfortable. Denial evaporates in a puff of misery when you know an attractive man is seeing this person you do not want to be. I know it's pop-psych-chic to say that this is something you should get over and learn to embrace your flaws, self-acceptance and blah de blah blah blah - I'm sure it's purely a coincidence that the self-acceptance gospel and the obesity epidemic happened at the same time, right? We are self-accepting ourselves into a Type II diabetes epidemic, for God's sake!
And I know the answer already, I don't need a book or a diet plan or anything else to know what works for me, I just have to fit it into my schedule and do it, and get my butt back into the cute size 8 stuff hanging forlornly in my closet. I have failed at losing these pounds over and over, too many times and the reason is simple - I do not get enough exercise. No other reason. The same reason that so many of us are overweight - good eating habits only get you so far, especially when you are past 40. That slower metabolism is no joke. I know how to counteract it and I honestly love to exercise, I just can't make it to the gym to do it regularly.
| You Are Emerald Green |
 Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you. Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate. But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you. |
Wow, that's kinda harsh, though I am sure a lot of people don't get me. I don't get myself lately. This middle-aged adolescence thing is really weird.
I'm Olive Green! (A shade of green I hate)
ReplyDeleteYou are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself.
For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself.
You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you.
People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.
I'm of two minds about the body image thing. On the one hand, I'm happy to see kids who are not tortured the same way I was growing up. I wasn't fat as a kid, but I wasn't sylph-like either. I was always called "fat", and as I got into my teens and developed the standard female pear shape with a waist 11" smaller than my hips, I was called "fat" even more often. All because I didn't look like Barbie. I have serious body image issues and I've never been able to get rid of them. It doesn't matter what I look like, slim or heavy, I hate what I see in the mirror.
On the other hand, at the university I see a lot of girls in "baby-tees", and skin tight jeans with not only fat bulging over their waistlines, but the fat actually ripples when they walk. I have never looked like that and would not dress like that if I did.
I don't know that they aren't still tortured, models are still bony, young actresses are still vying to be the thinnest of all. But the alternative isn't healthy either. I've said it before, but I'd be perfectly content to be the size I am now and SOLID, it's the squishiness that I can't stand. And I know my age and my small bone structure are both working against me, the only way this body will get more solid is if I take a layer or two off. No amount of dieting will do it, but that elliptical trainer will.
ReplyDeleteHeh. Yes, I know what you mean about squishy vs. solid. I'm somewhat "squishy" right now, and it really disgusts me.
ReplyDeletei'm much squishier than i prefer to be, and it got highlighted at the doctor yesterday. i got on the scale, and the nurse asked me how much. i couldn't tell her, she had to look. ugh.
ReplyDeletehowever there's this
Teal Green
You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.
Congrats on the new member of the family. :-) May he do his job well.
ReplyDeleteI kinda have a different take on the accepting self/weight gain thing. While I certainly concede your point, the flip side is that when you obsesss about everything you eat, and are harshly critical of your body, it becomes your raison d'etre in a way. I was not very big when I began this cycle, but I began around 10, and now I AM big. Bah! It's complicated. In your situation, though, it sounds like you're on the right track.
It is sad the way all of us, the large and small, are obsessed with our weight and self-image. Health issues are a big deal, and feeling good and full of energy are important, but we all reduce it to those clothes that just won't fit any more!
ReplyDeleteI think that's the key about exercise, even though it takes weeks of regular workouts to be effective: exercise makes you feel good; when you feel good, you tend to want to be even more active and eat better and take care of yourself. Dieting alone doesn't give you that kind of boost.
Good luck with it!
Good luck with your new machine. May it live long and prosper - and not become an expensive clothes rack.
ReplyDeleteWow! You did get a bargain. If the county didn't pay half my gym fee - and if it didn't have a pool - I would be tempted.
ReplyDeleteAs for the body image - well. It is true. I'm not out there in the glance swapping arena, so day-to-day image issues aren't too hard on me. Besides, I've made real progress over the past few years. But I can still feel fat'n'ugly with the best of 'em. Ever since someone sayd "wow, she's a cutie" instead of "Ug. Catchem heap pile of fish" women have had painful, unrealistic issues with body iamge. I don't believe a woman in america knows what she really looks like.
It's just crappy baggage we have to haul around. Just get a big purse.
What's cool is that when you are exercising everything else is easier. I can't figure out why it's also so easy to stop doing something that makes you feel so darned good, but that eliptical machine will make it easier for you to start up again. And I don't think anything gives you the fat burning, heart building boost per minute like an eliptical.
Even when I'd bruised my heart bad enough to look like a heart attack, last summer, the years on the eliptical fooled the dr. into saying he could see I worked out.
woops. didn't mean to run on so.
Well, Bess, you're likely correct there. We all have our baggage and need a bigger bag to carry it.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read fashion magazines for about 10 years. I like to dress nicely (outside of the jeans and t-shirts I wear at university) but the fashion magazines just depress me. I find if I ignore a lot of that crap and try to concentrate on my wellbeing rather than looks I do better physically and psychologically. At some point I realized that for me to maintain the magazine standards of looks (even imperfectly) required a level of narcissism I just don't have.
I have also resigned myself to the fact that getting back down to a size 12-13 (my smallest) from a 15-16 would also take a great deal of dedication. Life's too short, and there are too many other interesting things to see and do. I just don't have the time or the sustained interest.
Oooo, I totally relate with the hot guy checking you out making you feel icky thing. I was dating a VERY hot guy who was totally in shape. I had to quit because even though he never said anything when we were nekkid together, I felt like a pile of goo next to his muscles. Ick!
ReplyDeleteYep, it's the pile of goo thing I can't take - I don't care if I don't lose many pounds but I care intensely about fighting the goo. That's why exercise is the thing that really matters.
ReplyDeleteYes, Bess, when I saw the price on the machine it was like a Sign from the Universe - Here, How Easy Can it GET! Exercising isn't my problem. I don't hate to exercise. I love it. I hate scheduling it. I used to go to the gym at 6:15 a.m. with my husband Back in the Day, and it was one of our rituals. I can't stir myself out of the house at that hour alone, and of course the dogs are an excuse (they do take about 12 relief trips in the morning between getting up and my leaving for work). I love the gym, but since I am going alone I am not as motivated and it's hard to form a habit. But damn, an elliptical trainer of my very own is like a pony under the tree at Christmas! :-)
ReplyDelete