Cabinets are done, but for adding the extra cabinet, crown molding, lighting and some trim pieces that can't be added until the very end. Okay, so cabinets are NOT done. Never mind. Tomorrow countertop template and slab-o-granite selection, then two weeks of dead air until the countertop installation, if they are running on schedule. Then I can get the mechanical sub out to install the dishwasher, sink, disposal and re-install the microwave, and we're on the home stretch. At least two more weeks of making coffee on the bathroom vanity. Oh, joy.

The hardware is on and I can visualize the finished project, and I'm very happy with my choices. It's so hard to make a purchase like this in a home improvement warehouse and try to guess what the end result will be like in the actual house, but this is very good and I am very happy. Once the lighting and trim are done and the countertop is in place and it'a Real Kitchen again, it's going to be great. This has been hard, but, to borrow a pop-psych word I despise, it has been "empowering." I've never contracted for a home improvement project of this magnitude (read: a shitload of money) without consulting my husband, who had excellent taste and judgment (read: liked what I liked). I have felt somewhat second-guessed along the way, as I second-guessed myself, comparing it to what I thought we would have done as a team. Would he have thought a granite countertop was nuts? Then I remembered that he was the one who insisted that my anniversary ring (bought the year before he got sick) had to be set in platinum, not white gold, and how we went back and bought a much pricier but classic and elegant ring, more than I'd imagined, because it was the one he liked, so I'm pretty sure he'd have been on the granite countertop wagon with me had we been doing this together. Plus the granite I selected was on sale.

It's not like I don't know how to deal with construction or contractors, I do it for a living (though usually only after they are accused of F-ing something up). I'm totally comfortable with construction issues and contracts, I love decorating and I have no trouble making decisions, but it's weird to do it alone. But not weird in a bad way, weird in a positive way, but still weird. Very weird.

Speaking of weird - I have been working on the Cotton Fleece All Seasons Shawl, and today, on impulse, I decided to start a finer version of it using the big cone of Softball Cotton scored on ebay. So I'm reading the pattern to remember how it starts, and I realized that I had somehow unconsciously modified it with the Cotton Fleece shawl - I have been doing hdcs instead of dcs, and reversed the shaping at the ends, leading off with a dc followed by a hdc. And I like it. I wish I could say I examined the pattern and swatched and consciously decided to make it my way, but I didn't - my hands took over and modified the pattern without asking me. It created a more geometric shape - the triangle is wider, and the squares of the pattern shape are more distinct. It's a new organism. I think it also means the trim in the pattern won't work now, so this may be the shawl that goes all Stevie Nicks with fringe and beads.

On the fine Softball Cotton version I am following the pattern, and it's more deeply triangular and the patterning is less distinct, but it's light and delicate and I like it very much. So there you have it, crochet as a subconscious design tool.

Photos to follow when I feel like dealing with them. I promise.