So I'm up early this morning - I popped awake at an ungodly early hour because I went to bed early last night, so I'm drinking coffee, wrapping gifts, and speed-cleaning the house, which means gathering up the layer of shoes, sweaters, magazines, mail, and assorted clutter that seems to take root even when nobody's here. The office closes at 1 today and I have some last minute running around to do, but nothing to get in a panic about, just stuff I want to do - this is a no-stress holiday for me. Even when the kids were small I was never one to get into Martha Stewart Mode and go nuts trying to make the Most Perfect Christmas Ever - I decorate within reason, I plan an easy menu everybody will eat, and that's it. I totally do not understand people women who exhaust themselves to create the most perfectly decorated house and the most elaborate food and stay up around the clock finishing holiday knitting - what is that all about? Most kids (and most adults) are fairly oblivious to the difference between storebought goodies and handmade, and the kids would rather have mom sitting on the couch watching a movie with them instead of running around like a maniac, half-killing herself. Martha Stewart's perfect world is created by an army of cringing minions behind the scenes. Perfect TV family Christmas living rooms are created by set designers with huge budgets. It's FICTION. Get over it. Sit down and have some eggnog. Life isn't a Hallmark commercial, and that's okay.

My favorite holiday memories are about people, and the wacky "Christmas traditions" we developed on our own. When the kids were small, and before he moved away and had a family of his own, my husband's Air Force buddy would spend Christmas at our house. He would show up on Christmas Eve, the happy bachelor in his latest hot sports car or on his motorcycle, like a slightly warped elf, with gifts and the makings of White Russians (we called it our Florida White Christmas). I think he liked to get his fix of happy family life with us, it reminded him of how much fun he was having as a single guy. After the kids went to bed he and my husband would assemble Fisher Price toys and Big Wheels and such, into the wee hours, like the big tipsy elves they were. We would laugh ourselves silly, and we didn't mind that the crinkle of wrapping paper and squeal of excited children the next day felt like icepicks in our brains. (We were young and bounced back fast in those days.) Christmas dinner might be steaks on the grill, or more often assorted cold dishes. Sometimes it would be cold, but often it was warm enough to have the windows wide open, and once in a while it was even warm enough to go swimming. I don't think the kids ever missed having one of those traditional snow-and-Bing-Crosby holidays. We had our own way of celebrating.

I am even unaffected by the pressure to deliver gifts by Dec. 25th - there will be some presents under the tree for the kids, just to keep with tradition, but a lot of people are getting post-Christmas gifts, because I have several days off after Christmas and that's when *I* will go shopping in earnest. I'm looking forward to several days of R&R and retail therapy, even more than the holiday itself.

My only concern with being up way too early like this is that I am going to be dragging for Mass tonight - we're going to the 9 o'clock, I think - but maybe the 7 would be better. I can't stay up late anymore. It's pathetic.