This is the scariest election of my life.

And I'm 58 years old. I'm scared for the future of my retirement security, my kids' and granddaughters' futures, and everyone else who will be affected by the outcome. This never should have happened. I never could have imagined that this country could be dragged so low.

Today my cousin posted on FB that he finally asked his long time partner, the guy I consider already another cousin, to marry him. My unofficial cousin said yes. About damn time, and also a leap of faith that their right to marry won't be taken away if this election goes off the rails. It's not much at stake here, just the economy, the future of the Supreme Court, our position in the world, the right to our personal freedom and happiness, our right to education, believing in the climate crisis,access to health care, global human rights, all the things that make us Americans - that's all that's on the table tonight. Yes, I'm freaked out. My daughter is watching the returns come in, but I'm not. It's way too early, and the same corporate controlled media that gave this orange nightmare a couple of billion dollars of free publicity because it was good for ratings is having a great time keeping everyone tuned in for more.

This entire election has been a national disgrace and the least serious and issues based election of my lifetime, and we owe it all to one rodeo clown candidate who was good for ratings. It comes down to a woman who has devoted her life to public service, who has been under relentless and substance-free attacks by the other side for decades, literally millions of dollars have been spent on "investigating", against a total fraud whose biggest accomplishment was a highly edited and faked "reality show." Jesus, how did we get here?

I have to believe we are better than this as a nation. I just have to, because I'm too damn old to start over again. I mostly recovered from the last economic crash, Thanks, Obama! and I dread what will happen if that incompetent asshole gets behind the wheel. I have to think we are better than this. We'll know tomorrow.