Big Fat Lie

Retro patterns are an eye-opener in many ways. They are evidence of the fattening up of America in the last 30-50 years, and how clothing manufacturers went along with the trend and "cooked the books" on the size charts to make us feel better. We're a fat bunch.

See size chart from 1976 above. I know this is true, because in 1976 I turned 18 and wore a size 7-8 in 1976 sizing. I wear a 10 today, and though this is "one size" larger than the size I wore at 18, in reality it's about four sizes. I couldn't get my size 7 jeans from 1976 over my 2005 thighs, let alone my hips, today.

A size 8 on the 1976 size chart has a 23 inch waist, (yes, I actually was that small as a teenager!) a size 8 on the chart at the Newport News website has a 27.5 inch waist. So when I sit here in my size 10 jeans and say I want to get "back into" a size 8, it's an illusion, a fat happy lie I tell myself. A size 8 when I was in high school was smaller than the size 4 of today. I'll never see a size 4 again in this lifetime, and I know it. I'll take the modern 8 and be done with it, I'll be 47 next month and 47 and a size 8 is certainly "good enough" by modern standards. It's just amazing to really look at the numbers in black and white and realize how we've fattened up as a society and adjusted our mindset and our size charts to soothe our chubby American self-esteem.

The biggest fat happy lie, of course, is the one women always repeat when talking about these issues. It's the one that claims that Marilyn Monroe would never have made it as a movie star today, because "She was a size 14." A size 14 in Monroe's era was 36-27-38. Today, that's a size 8. Yeah, I think she'd have made it.