The (entirely unsexy) Great Bed Adventure.

 So, the backstory: I had an ancient bed. Mattress toppers kept the very old mattress and box spring manageable until recently. So, when the Money Pit sold, I vowed that I'd use just a wee bit of the proceeds on life improvement, including a new mattress and box spring. I really wasn't thinking any grander than that, because I honestly couldn't remember when the old mattress had been purchased, I just knew it was old AF. 

Because I hate mattress stores with the white hot heat of 1,000 suns, I went through Costco. I trust them and they included set up and haul away with everything, which was definitely a consideration. I bought a new set, reasonably priced thanks to a 4th of July sale. Not a cheapo set, a name brand, pillow top, medium firm.  It was delivered, the delivery guys were great, they hauled away the ancient set (seriously, I found a tag on it: it had been manufactured in 2002). And I was in love with my new mattress and box spring, it fit my even more vintage bed frame nicely and felt great for the first few weeks.

Then something weird happened, and as time passed it got softer. I'd seen one or two negative reviews online mentioning that theirs had sagged on the side, but most people were positive about it, so I had no reason to think that I'd have an issue. 

Yeah, by this week, not only was the side I slept on noticeably less supportive, but I actually noticed a subtle drop from the middle of the bed to the side. Not "falling off a mountain" dramatic, but definitely no longer level. And out of the blue I was waking up every morning with a backache. I don't have a bad back. Bad knee, yes, but my back is only an issue if I abuse it, and then it recovers in a couple of days, like any back. I don't have chronic back pain. My back had been bothering me for more than a week, and I woke up yesterday morning forced to admit that there was only one suspect: the new mattress. 

I actually tried to convince myself that wasn't the case, until I realized that I woke up with a sore back, it improved as the day went on, I went to sleep comfortably, and woke up with a sore back.  

The other reason I chose to buy through Costco was their return policy: 90 days, they'll just come pick it up. So they're coming on Monday to take the fail mattress away.

Then the question: what to get instead? And I spent days shopping online and fretting about price, having to get a new bed frame, all the moving parts, until I realized I was dithering over a thing I really need and will use for years to come.

And that's when I said Fuck It, I'm Worth It.  I'm upgrading to a Tempur Pedic with an adjustable base, because I'd really, really love to be able to get comfy in bed to watch TV and knit in the evenings. Even the new mattress wasn't ideal for that, even before it went mushy on the side.

And my daughter had mentioned that when she started dating Future Son in Law (I've decided his blog alias will be FSIL, after they marry I can drop the F) he had an adjustable bed. She of course gave him shit about having "an old man bed," then discovered that it was actually awesome.  I've noticed that many of the pictures she sends of The Prince were taken on the bed, they hang out there with him, playing and watching TV. 

We were texting yesterday and she described settings on their remote, and it sounds the same as the one I'm getting, so I think it's the same brand if not the same model. She said the "zero gravity" setting was perfect after a long Disney day, and I am now super stoked.  

It has a remote, it has USB ports. It's not one of their smart models that's supposed to detect snoring and adjust as you sleep, because yeah, that still seems vaguely creepy to me. A remote is good, USB plugs are welcome, a smart bed that watches you sleep? A bridge too far.  Plus, that was like an extra $1000. I'm being plenty extravagant, I don't need a bed that thinks while I'm sleeping. 

I am a bit sad that it can't work with my loyal old bed frame, but it's time to say goodbye. I'll offer it up on the neighborhood FB page, somebody will be furnishing a college apartment and be happy to get a cool vintage Ethan Allen bed frame. It's not in pristine condition, it has lived a full life, but it's sturdy and attractive still. I will salute as it's hauled away.

So, next week will be the great bed shuffle, and I'll be on the couch Monday night. Fingers crossed that it goes smoothly and that the new bed will be as awesome as promised.

Because dammit, I deserve a good night's sleep and being able to watch TV and knit in bed. It's one of the few things to look forward to in this shitshow.