Weird Neighbor Story from the Condo of the Olds.

 First, that's not entirely fair. Since I've lived here (over a decade, which was not my original plan) a lot of the original owners have gone to the golf club in the sky and we do have teens walking to catch the bus to HS at o-dark-thirty, and this afternoon a long haired tween I'd never seen before told me my dogs were cute as he shot past on his bike. It's not one of those God's Waiting Room communities, but we do have a preponderance of old people.

And yes, I do realize that to the kids walking to the bus and the kid on the bike, I'm one of the old people, and I am.

But damn, some of these old farts are just weird.

A couple of years ago, neighbors on the next street (I don't know their names) got a corgi puppy. Cutest little creature ever, and so friendly and bouncy! Though we live around the corner from each other, our schedules rarely mesh so I don't see them often, and now he's a dog.

Eddie didn't know him as a puppy, barely sees him now, and loses his mind barking at the now fully grown corgi, and the corgi responds in kind. I did let Eddie approach him, saying he's a new friend, and they happily barked at each other like idiots, but neither wanted to get any closer, and that's cool.

We do not see some neighbor dogs often enough to establish any rapport. Eddie knows some neighbor dogs and when he sees them I just say, "That's your friend Toby, you don't bark at him," and he doesn't. He has friends he knows by name and he's cool with them. But when we have a rare dog sighting, Eddie Loses His Shit at the Tops of His Lungs. When this happens, if he doesn't settle down I take Eddie in another direction, and as soon as the other dog is out of sight he shuts up and resumes walking like a gentleman. He's not truly reactive, it's not aggression, if he gets to meet the dog he actually turns shy and quiet.  He's just gets super excited about seeing other dogs and gets really loud, and it's only an issue at 6 a.m., like today.

We just haven't had enough random encounters with the corgi to establish the "that's a friend, you don't bark at..." rapport, and the owner just..isn't friendly. He'll hang back and watch Eddie losing his mind, smiling, like it's so funny. At first i thought he was just clueless, now, I wonder WTF is wrong with him.

And that brought us to this morning. I rolled out of bed into 37 degrees, threw a hoodie over my pajamas and took the dogs out for their morning pee. And corgi guy was standing at the foot of the driveway next door. I spotted them and hustled Eddie and Gidget across the street. Fortunately Eddie was thinking more about his bladder than looking for dogs to bark at, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I kept him busy across the street, then looked back, and saw Corgi Guy standing at the foot of my driveway, effectively blocking our way home. He could have turned around and gone home. He didn't.

So I waited. I waited. It was a bit after 6 in the morning and did I mention it was 37 degrees and I was in my pajamas, because I just wanted to take my dogs out for their pre-dawn pee, this wasn't a real walk?

And still, he stood there, watching us. Until finally I muttered fuck this, and let Eddie lose his mind barking, and the corgi barked back, and Sorry Neighbors, I really tried to avoid this. And as I approached MY driveway, the corgi guy still stood there, smiling at me, then slowly walked past while all three dogs barked at each other.  I hope he heard me call him "Fucking asshole," over the barking frenzy. I didn't yell it, but I didn't whisper it either.

UPDATE: This morning he came walking up the street from the opposite direction. I turned my barking fool around so he wouldn't be distracted from his mission, the Dawn Pee. Weirdo and dog turned the corner toward their home. Eddie saw them as they went around the corner and barked anyway, but at least there was no dawdling to stir the barking this time. 

I mean seriously, I've seen my share of weird neighbor shit, but deliberately making dogs bark at 6 a.m. (including his own, who was a gleeful participant)  is just fucking asshole behavior.