The End of the Road.

It's a very difficult decision, but probably long overdue.  I decided last night that it's time for Higgins to take that last trip to the vet.  I'm not going to wuss out and change my mind this time.

He's eating very little, and vomiting often.  Not "Yakking up a hairball" normal cat barfing, but throwing up undigested food.  He cries for food, but 3 out of 4 times he'll nibble and lick at it and walk away and leave it.  About a quarter of the time he'll suddenly perk up and clean his plate, and I'll change my mind about the gravity of his condition.  Now I think he feels hunger, but eating makes him sick, or possibly causes pain.  

His life is basically sleeping pressed against the balcony doors, crying for food, nibbling it/rejecting it, and vomiting.  Some days his urine output is enormous, other days the litterbox appears nearly dry.  Looking at pictures from just a few months ago, I can see changes in his appearance.  He has gone from skinny to truly gaunt. His face is all eyes and pointy cheekbones.   He doesn't clean himself, or take any interest in looking out the windows.  He's not even yowling in the night much lately. 

It's impossible to tell if a cat is in pain because they mask it - even the vet said she can't judge whether he's truly suffering.  I know I have a tendency to wait too long in these matters, hoping nature will take its course and I won't have to make the decision, but my instincts are telling me that this is the right thing to do, and letting him continue to slide downhill is not being kind to him.

He's been part of our family since 1996.  He's at least 17, and possibly even older.  I knew this day would come, and I'm really a bit surprised he's lasted this long, but it's time to let him go.