I swear to God. Since he moved in what, six months ago, I have been on a quest to make him comfortable, or at least QUIET. I have tried many different brands and flavors of food, and thought we'd hit a winner a few weeks ago - Friskies brought quiet nights! It took a bit of trial and error to figure out that not all flavors of Friskies canned are acceptable. In fact, we're pretty much down to turkey in gravy. NOT, let's be clear, turkey and giblets in gravy - oh no! And don't even try to substitute the tuna and chicken with cheese that was the favorite two weeks ago! UN-acceptable! I will refuse the food, stalk away crying, and then hours later deliberately puke near the work stuff you stupidly left on the table. ON the table.
And did I mention the screaming in the night? He screams. He does not mew, he does not meow, he does not make any of those sweet little cat voices. He has a voice like a commercial fire alarm, MRRAAAA...MRAAAAA...MRRRRAAA. I see a flashing red strobe behind my eyeballs when he starts this shit at 3 a.m.
It could raise the dead - it's so bad, I am worried that on mild nights when I sleep with the doors open my neighbors hear both the MMRRRRAAAA!! and me screaming at him to STFU you Fing worthless CAT. I try to moderate that voice. He doesn't moderate his EARSPLITTING SCREAMS OF DISPLEASURE and indignation that I will not rise from my bed at 3 a.m. to open a can for him to reject as not the flavor he wanted at that moment!
He had lulled me into a false sense of complacency lately - he liked the canned Friskies, mostly. He was using the litterbox faithfully. That is my etched-in-stone dealbreaker, and he's a smart cat and seems to know it. I found a couple of "thinking outside the box" moments in the bathroom on the tile, and told him that if it happened again he was on a one way trip to the vet. It hasn't happened again. So we were okay on that issue, and after we discovered that Friskies suited his palate, he was letting me sleep. Until the last two nights, when the 3 a.m. screaming started again. If I rise from my bed in a half-sleep and beat this cat to death, only those who have heard him will know why.
My daughter brought the baby over yesterday (she owed me money and I had a freebie gift from the credit union for her) and we ended up putting the baby on the bed so she could engage in her fierce, determined desire to crawl. Higgins came in and got on the bed, and Delaney reached out her tiny baby hand, and Higgins sniffed it delicately, and it was a Kodak Moment. He's still a sweet cat when it suits him, and he uses the litterbox - and those are the only two things keeping me from committing - is there a name for cat murder? Screechingfelinicide?
Cattus Assholus Maximus.
Ernst and I know exactly why it drives you mad.
ReplyDeleteVegemite used to stand in the corner of the shower recess, surrounded by tiled surfaces yay high, and BELLOW.
And she started life with that sweet fetching litte-kitty voice, and was very good at the Silent Miaow. And she liked nothing better than a 'conversation'. But the bellowing over the last couple of years of her life -- we miss her, but not the bellowing.
Nearly 17 yo Senior Grand-daughter has been swimming very well lately.
Combined (State) Highs Schools meet -- Gold in 100m Fly (1.02.01), and at the just finished National junior swimming in Brisbane she finally managed to get into the finals, and got 6th in the 200m Fly, 7th in the 100m Fly and earned a gold in the Relay.
Gae, in Callala Bay
Another friend with an aged cat who is caterwauling, and very VERY picky about food, like Higgins is has tried leaving low level lighting on for her cat because she knows that he can't see well now. It seemed to help. Oh these old guys! Good luck not killing him with your bare hands.
ReplyDeleteI have night lights for the cat, though he appears to be able to see and hear just fine. I humor him like he's an eccentric millionaire uncle and I'm trying to become his favorite niece, and he rewards me by screeching and deliberately throwing up inches from my laptop. We'll see if calling him out on his behavior leads to lasting improvement. :-)
ReplyDeleteWow Gae, your granddaughter is amazing! Tell her congrats from Florida!