The Old Critters' Home

I often feel like I'm running a nursing home for old animals. Well, Sophie and I are - she's only 2. The other two are Grumpy Old Men.

Higgins believes the litterbox should flush. He doesn't cover his crap. He craps like a St. Bernard, then walks around bitching until I dispose of it. Which I do, because ohmygawditstinks.

Murphy still acts like a much younger dog, but his teeth are going bad so his breath stinks like rotting fish, and of course he has his digestive issue which leads to problems at the other end. But he's happy to be a grumpy old man to support his old pal Higgins, so when Higgins has a gripe, his attorney Murphy appears to argue his case.

Both Murphy and Higgins firmly believe we have a contract in this establishment - dinner is served at 4 in the afternoon. I am reminded of old people lining up at the cafeteria bitching: "They'd better start serving soon goddammit! I'm gonna miss Matlock!" This does not always comport with the Staff's schedule, as I do have a life, but when I'm here they wear me down with their demands. Not that feeding them satisfies the demands. Today I swear to God Higgins ate his dinner, walked away from his empty plate and started yowling at the tops of his lungs: "It's dinnertime, I'm STARVING! This woman is starving me!" I just stared at him in disbelief and suggested that he might want to STFU before I threw something at him. He's not as deaf as he pretends to be, because we stared into each other's eyes and he did indeed STFU. He knew I meant it.

This cat is determined to live forever. When he moved in we had a diagnosis of maybe early kidney failure. Now I'm questioning that, because he's not drinking as much water and seems much more like his old self. He may have put himself into early kidney failure in protest of being forced to live with my daughter's family and dogs.
He likes these dogs, especially Sophie. Sophie's not so crazy about him, but she has learned to be tolerant when he rubs on her. Her eyes still bug out a bit, but she tolerates it. That's about how I deal with him. And he does have a really aggressive attorney.