Okay, so....

for those of you who know me on Facebook, I did give in to giddiness and post about my Insanely Crazy Decision. I've resigned from my shittyjob.

(BTW - for those who know me on FB, I try not to reference the b-l-o-g there, because I am there under my real name and a lot of other identifying information. Though I don't say anything here I wouldn't own, it's just...easier this way.)

Anyway, Various Things happened this month, things that made me realize that as insane as it is to walk away from a paycheck "in this job market!!" staying was even more foolish. It was not going to get better, and I'm not getting any younger. And I do have the means to take some time and figure out my new path - or I could just hate what I do every single day. So, I took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. I walked in to my bosses' offices and told them a polite, "I have the opportunity to make some changes in my life," which is the diplomatic corporate version of "It's been swell, but the swelling has gone down now," and the standard cover for the totally honest "Life's too short for this crap," and took my leave of the dead end cube. I'm still there for two weeks, because I was classified as hourly in this gig, so I gave them two weeks. Which is kinda crazy, as I've been under-employed and looking for stuff to do there for nearly two years. But it was the proper thing to do, and I am all about the proper thing to do. I'm a regular fucking Miss Manners.

I'm sitting here feeling weird - it's a very strange feeling to be on the precipice of taking a major life step like this. I've never left a job without having the next one lined up. I know that on paper I'm doing the right thing - and I even know how I will sell it to my next employer. I had an opportunity to take some time to find my new direction, and felt it was the right time to do it. It does make perfect sense. My previous line of work - the homebuilding industry - is a shadow of its former self, and won't be coming back in any major way for many years.

I am not suited to what this job became, which is not what I was hired to do. I had misgivings about taking the job, particularly because I saw the direction the economy was taking, and questioned whether they needed me. I even raised this in my interview, and was basically coaxed into taking the job. Whereupon the economy promptly did exactly what I saw coming, and the purpose for which I was hired evaporated. To give credit where it's due, they tried to find stuff for me to do. Here and there, off and on, and continued to pay me, which was crazy really good of them. But I have felt like a fish out of water for 2 long, crappy years, and I don't think anyone can say that I didn't give it a fair chance to work out.

So I quit, without another, better job lined up, for the first time in my life. Crazy.

I intend to fill my time with volunteer work, especially with animals, which will lead to networking in other fields I think I would enjoy much more, and clean out my house, clean up my LIFE.

Ideally, I would love to volunteer my way into a paying gig with a non-profit that serves animals, or the elderly or the disabled. Something that makes me feel good about what I do, instead of dealing with complicated legal issues surrounding a fundamentally frivolous and unnecessary business. So I know what I am doing is right.

But at the same time, it's scary - I have no spouse for backup; I'm on my own, and that makes doing this feel extra crazy. Unemployment in FL is astronomical, and I look at the news stories about how hard it is to find a job over 50, and that of course makes my inner lizard chatter nervously that I'm making a HUUUUGE mistake. But of course, I am not sure I want to stay in FL - I have no idea where I want to go, really. But I have a tenant lined up to move into this house when her lease is up in October (waves to Girlchild!)

So, really, what's the worst that can happen? I could take this time off and not find a good job later - gosh, I could end up stuck in a greige cube farm, pushing boring papers for mediocre money...oh, wait....:-) Basically, it's time to take that flying leap.



Perfect image-mascot for this life courtesy of Like the Queen.