Hmmm.

I read this article on Huffington Post: Receptive Creativity and something clicked. It's why I'm so discombobulated about my life right now. I had been ready for the Empty Nest, and looking forward to the next phase of life, and now I'm thrown back into Building again - from scratch, it seems. House prices are still falling, and my walking away money with them. My mother's health and neediness are failing and growing proportionately, my job search is a joke - the market here is deader than Elvis. The ONE interview I had may yield a job, and seriously, if they offer it I gotta take it. I do not have the luxury of alternatives at the moment. I am freelancing, but it can be described as "legal day labor," it pays very nicely per hour but only amounts to a day or so a week, so it only offsets the drain on savings and ain't like having a job. Oh, that reminds me, I have to make another COBRA payment.

Anyway, this article clicked with me, because I hadn't really named the phases of life in my own mind, but I think that's what feels so weird and wrong about this situation - I earned Receptive Creativity, but dammit, I'm back in Building. Again. Kinda like building a sandcastle at low tide, you know? It looked really good, and then whooosh! All gone.