I got the call this afternoon, the giant computer armoire has found a new home, and a check will come my way for Christmas shopping. Found money. When it didn't sell in the first month I accepted reality that it was too big, too looming, and too much for most people, as it ultimately was for me. Someone loved it. I'm happy.
And I came home after a very long week (and next week - oh my God, I want to cry when I look at the meetings scheduled - things like eating or peeing or even getting anything else done at my own desk in my own office are out the window) to find two boxes on my doorstep, books, (aaah, books) and two pair of office-worthy shoes from Easy Spirit. Because when the chips are down, my feet want comfort, and two pair of cute but comfy heels with toes that will not kill me are now mine. And I took them out of the boxes, and stuck my feet into them, my tired, cranky, been working all day feet, and my feet said, "Aaaah...." So they passed the test instantly. If you can wear them on Friday after 6 p.m., they are keepers.
We used to have an Easy Spirit store, right in my very own mall, and they vanished, replaced by cheap crap shoes. Apparently in Orlanduh we are down to skinny sexy strappy sandals that one cannot wear while standing up for more than five minutes, at least not while sober enough to notice one's feet turning scary red-purple blistery colors and feel the pain, or Sensible Rockports (even I'm not that old yet, thanks) or Payless and Candies and other trendoid cheap crap disposable seasonal kid footwear. Depressing. I want to look good, I want to wear cute things, I just don't want to be distracted by the pain from my feet after 5. One of the great things about being past 40 is that you reach the level of confidence that you will not compromise comfort to look sexier in any way that only one out of ten straight men can even notice. And yes, I do work with a straight guy with a thing for shoes, and if I wear my 3 inch heel *but comfy* sandals he notices. But he is the exception, not the rule, of heterosexual male footware observation. Only extremely detail-oriented men get south of the ass.
Easy Spirit ain't high style, but they don't scream Taking Grandma on an Outing - okay, they may mutter it under their breath, but Goldie Hawn is a grandma. Crazy Aunt Purl has What Would Lorelei Gilmore Do? I have What would Goldie or Sally do/wear? Because Goldie Hawn and Sally Field were my favorite TV role models as a kid, and evolved into my role models of how to do middle age and beyond and look really good and even sexy but not make an ass of yourself by being creepily inappropriate. And they are years older than me so I still have something to grow up and aspire to, you know?
I saw a scary, scary thing at Publix tonight. She was standing in front of the frozen food. She was wearing denim hot pants, a little denim jacket, and cropped boots. She had long permed very blonde hair. Okay, kinda retro, but these kids are all wearing 70s stuff. From the rear she looked maybe a tad not in shape for that costume, a little hint of tanning-boothed cottage cheese on the thighs, but some of these kids are kinda chunky, and she'd done time in the sun or in a tanning booth, though perhaps to excess because her skin was, uh, leathery (these crazy kids) so whatever - and then she turned around. Oh, my. Oh, MY.
The phrase "mutton dressed as lamb" is a fine, wise old saying that says so much, so concisely. One we should all memorize, and think while we look in the mirror. Just because one's ass still fits into one's shorts from the 70s doesn't mean one should resurrect them. Dear God, there are young, impressionable boys who may never function normally again after seeing this.
Oh, and there is yarn, and knitting talk, and a nearly finished thing for charity, but I need to go get on the elliptical thang, because I have decided that this year, Screw the 12 Days of Christmas, I am going for the 30 days of exercise. Because it takes 30 days to make a habit, and the food is washing in over the office walls, and it's only going to get worse, so semi-regular workouts are going to be daily 45 minute workouts, so help me Sally Field, who is still around a size 4.
You are hysterical. Mutton dressed as lamb! I can picture this mutton you describe from your vivid description. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteAll of the decent shoe stores in my area have gone the way of Payless and Carnival Shoes as well. I wear size 8 1/2 EE, and none of the low-end shoe stores carry anything that even begins to fit me. Luckily, I can dress pretty casually for work, and can get away with Birkenstocks. (With hand knit STR.)
ReplyDeleteI miss Naturalizers. They were nice shoes that didn't kill your feet--they seem to have disappeared too.
ReplyDeleteMutton dressed as lamb. I remember one like that. From the back, actually pretty good. She was wearing a denim mini skirt, blouse, high heels and curly blonde hair held in a ponytail. Her figure was good and she had nice legs. However, when I saw her from the front... holy cow. Somewhere in her mid-50s, I'd say. I kept thinking, "Good for you that you've kept your figure so well, but you still look ridiculous."
All I could think of was the old Carol Burnett show, and some of the characters she played, like Charo's mother in the lame jumpsuit with the sagging boobs. It's just WRONG.
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