Loathsome DOVE.

Today I was driving to the office around 1-ish, and my cell rang. 800 number on caller ID. I answered. "May I speak to the lady of the house?" I was so bemused by the greeting I said, "You're speaking to her." Never mind that I was actually in my car and we were having this conversation on my cellphone, I do own a house and work for a builder, so I am a lady of the houses.

The perky voice introduced herself - I didn't catch her name - assured me that it was not a sales call, and said she worked for the Dove Foundation - that's D-O-V-E, she spells it slowly for me. Seriously. Slowly. And then launched into a classic manipulative push-poll on the topic of all of the Filth and Dirt in Hollywood! I don't have the patience to replay every line of the conversation, but her questions were loaded with "The movie ratings system is inadequate, don't you agree?" "Most people agree that there is too much sex in movies and that children are exposed to too much sex and violence, don't you agree with this?" I kept responding with statements that parents are responsible for supervising what their children are exposed to, and restricting things they don't want them to see. She quickly agreed with me, but tried to get me back on her page, with "But what about the children whose parents don't take responsibility?" and launched into her pitch again. I listened and kept disagreeing with her. Her final attempt to get me on the side of censorship - oh I'm sorry, she did tell me that "This is NOT about censorship!" was a whine about how Hollywood doesn't produce enough family-friendly fare, and shouldn't we work to make them give us more? And I said, "Huh? Pick up a newspaper - right at this moment there are several high quality childrens' movies in theaters - how about Charlotte's Web? Happy Feet? I've seen ads for at least 4 more. I don't have kids and I know about them!" and got tired of her spiel and cut her off with, "I see what you are advocating and I don't agree with it. Have a nice day." She was still talking when I hit the button.

Now that I think about it, I see more ads for kidflicks than I do movies for grownups.

Then I checked out their website. Google Dove Foundation if you don't know what they're about, I won't link to them and bring them to my door, I don't have time to swat them. NOT about censorship? Their entire existence is supported by censoring movies for redistribution to their, um, I'll be charitable and call them "unsophisticated," market.

So out of curiosity I read some of the movie reviews. This is NOT about "Protecting the Children." In Dove World, there are no grownups, just frightened "Christians" who are so skeered of the bad evil of the world, they buy censored movies based on these clowns' judgment calls that seeing cleavage or a "passionate" kiss will totally turn them wild and pagan and Make the Baby Jesus Cry.

And of course the entire structure of their review system is dishonest, and calculated to make it appear that nearly everything is objectionable without their "protection." Most of the movies they reviewed (and disapproved of) were not children's movies at all. In order to fake their poll results about the horrors of Hollywood (think of the CHILDREN!) they pull in movies that are obviously never intended for a child audience.

And they panned movies most parents would have no problem with at all for a bright, aware child - "The Pursuit of Happyness" is a no-no, because - and get this - in one scene that is probably onscreen for the blink of an eye, the "F Word" is shown in graffiti! On a wall in the inner city! Imagine that! That's the reason these Good Christians should avoid this movie - never mind the message of taking a risk and devotion to family and never giving up and achieving a dream, and is just the kind of movie you'd want your older child to see and be inspired by the message, they had a momentary view of that WORD! That word you never see on the side of a barn in Cowpatty, Redstate, or wherever their targeted inbred mouth-breather market lives. It's so creepy and so sad - people are voluntarily buying censored movies to protect themselves from reality, and believing this clearly for-profit operation is "protecting" them from "evil." Meet the Bush Base. When they do those polls and still find people who stand by their Presidunce? That's where D-O-V-E should get their call list. Quit bothering the rest of us.

No wonder they spell D-O-V-E when they introduce themselves. Their targeted subject is too I-G-N-O-R-A-N-T to spell it.