This is just not right. Normally June and July are pretty quiet, the storms don't get geared up until August-September, when the water temperatures really heat up. Apparently the water is already plenty warm. Give me a break! It may be a tropical storm by the time it arrives. The next couple of days are going to be very messy.
I did it - I took the plunge and ordered my new camera. I went with the Olympus. I read a number of reviews and it gets very high marks overall, and Costco's price couldn't be beat - two lenses, a memory card, and it even includes shipping.
My son has made his decision - he's getting out of Florida and heading for Asheville, NC. He has good friends who moved there and it's a lower cost of living, higher opportunity area. I think I may follow him in the next year. Last year at this time I gave Florida one year to change my mind or I was leaving. Florida did respond with a new job and a few interesting social interactions, but not enough to override the annoyances of living here. It's hot, it's crowded, the cost of living is high and salaries are low. And we're 11 days into this year's storm season and the damn things are starting already. I'm over it.
My parents' situation will resolve itself in the next 12 months. My father is in a hospital bed, on oxygen and a feeding tube and they still won't discuss bringing in hospice. Yesterday was tiring and frustrating, and I came home feeling very drained. I've tried talking to them, but I can't do anything about this. This may sound very cold but I can't do anything about their behavior and I'm not going to let it determine my plans.
Girlchild will graduate in August and will have to decide where she's going and what she's doing next. She knows I'm thinking of bailing out and she is too, so we may all scatter to the four winds in the next year.
I have had to be the responsible adult and put everybody else's needs first for my entire life, and it's time to make my own plans and do what I want. The thought of moving away from Florida has captivated me, I am so excited for my son, to be 25 and able to just pick up and start fresh somewhere else. I want to do that. I can do that - I just have to allow myself the right to do it.
Thank god you said it first! I wanted soooo badly to say that to you all week - especially yesterday. But it sounded so heartlessly rude of me to do so. I love my parents. I wish they were having fun instead of being so cranky and sad and I have showed them dozens of ways to be happy - but they will not, they refuse and they hurt all day long.
ReplyDeleteMy sister moving east last fall gave them a reprieve but even her store of patience will eventually trickle down that black hole.
I just pray I remember all this when I am crumbling away and go someplace where there is company and help and society and health care. I believe I'll tatoo it on my arm "Obey Your Son - Move To Assisted Living".
Be kind - but be kind to yourself as well as to them. That is actually the kindest act of all.
I'm sorry about your parents, but you're right--you can't make them do anything. What happens is their decision, not yours.
ReplyDeleteI'm so jealous that you're brave enough to take the big plunge and move. I want to, I've wanted to for 20 years and almost did it once, but family issues kept me here (or that's the excuse I use). Now I'm too old and too afraid to do anything so bold, and I hate that.
You go, girl!
Your last paragraph hit home -- I did that, too, but it took years for me be able to recognize it in those terms. One foot in front of the other, lots of patience, and off you'll go, singing the Mary Tyler Moore theme song!
ReplyDeleteYou DO have the right to do it. Don't let any manipulation or guilt get in your way.
ReplyDeleteAs a 46 yo woman, single, no kids, I was feeling very restless and am now in the process of taking that plunge. Scary but exciting. I started think that I probably have 35 to 40 years left of vital life, and how do I want to live that life.
ReplyDeleteThere is a show on HGTV called What you Get For The Money, and they did one on Ashville, just a few days ago. Some great houses at really good prices. It is a nice town with lots going on.
I am sorry about your parents. Take care.
Ginnie
I just went to the HGTV page to send you a link, and I was wrong. The show was National OPen House, and it gives no info other that a realtor's name.
ReplyDeleteThe parent situation sucks. I'm in a simillar one and I'm also frustrated enough to cut loose and run. I'll still be around for major stuff, but the day to day of never-ending shite is really starting to get to me (my 'rents aren't as far as yours yet, but I live next door, so...) It's a balance kind of thing, taking care of everyone's needs, but not excepting your own in the process. It's a tough call. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteIt is a tough call. 80 year olds aren't "manipulative" any more than toddlers are - they need care, period. I am their only child therefore I am responsible whether I want the assignment or not. But I want to help my mother out on my terms - if that means moving her too, near me but not with me I could do that, but I'm not going to live with her (EEEEW to the nth power) and I'm not going to let her needs dictate where I live. She doesn't even LIKE where she is. She needs to be in a senior apartment community with activities and a life, though I think she'd be better off near Cousin C than me, because Cousin C lives in an area with an active senior population and she's plugged into it. We'll burn that bridge when we come to it, but meanwhile, I'm thinking about my own future.
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