Whoo! May!!

May is looking good. (I had to come back to edit to explain that the trine freaked me out - I'm a triple water sign, Cancer Sun, Pisces Rising, Scorpio Moon. That whole triangle in my three primary signs - I don't know enough to know whether to be thrilled or freaked out.)

If by all these new great opportunities Susan Miller means death by a thousand title company paper cuts, I'm already kicking ass here. Right now I have at least three WTFs (not to be confused with WMDs) on my desk. I hope none of my few and loyal readers work for title companies or solo practice lawyers who think writing title and doing real estate is an easy racket anybody can do. I hate those lawyers. They were the C students who made the honor roll possible, and they grew up to create havoc - "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing," is one of the truest thoughts ever recorded.

I won't say I hate them all, some are highly competent, I love those people. I hate all the ones who create horrific mutant documents that land on my desk. "They want us to sign this." Holy shit. We are so not signing that. I"m not sure what they are trying to do, but it doesn't do it and it makes me feel all oogy with the many ways in which it is a Great Wrongness.

I am not a title person or even a "real" real estate paralegal, but I do have basic legal knowledge (you know, the kind you hope the actual lawyer on the other end has) and there is no way we are signing that...thing. I have read it, I have common sense, and I can't figure out what you are doing other than creating future title problems that God Almighty could not cure without litigation.

No honey, that document you gave me is not an easement, I am not sure what sort of mutant creation that is, but if we could somehow bring it to life it would have three heads and no brain. Which is why I stomped on it and I will draft an easement that actually is an easement and does what it's supposed to do. After I'm done doing my own work, which is actually NOT THIS SHIT. And then I'll actually let a real lawyer with a brain review it and bless it, because he has the license and shitloads of malpractice insurance, and I have neither and I am smart enough to know this.

And I must reiterate that I am a construction paralegal, not a real estate type. I know enough to know bad when I see it, but I need Real real estate people to verify that my efforts to fix it are good enough, so I make sure to get their blessings. I do not feel that this in any way undermines me as a paralegal, because I chose my track years ago and It Was Not This. I know enough to know what I don't know, and I am not shy about saying so. Would that more in my alleged profession would do the same thing. It just freaks me out that people who chose this as their main occupation produce such scary shit.

But the extremely chipper horoscope is already true in that I already got more recognition for my efforts in addressing this stuff.

Your career will have extra help from Venus, now in Aries and gliding through your tenth house of fame and honors. Venus will help you get the applause you deserve, so work hard, because when the bigwigs begin to direct their gaze to you, you won't disappoint them.

But God Help Me if it only means more of This Shit. Just shoot me.

You might decide to travel this month, and if so, you might want to go over the fabulous May 6 - 7 weekend (if you hope to go a far distance)

Not going to MDS&W. Pffffff on that part. That was the plan until the Feeding Tube, I can't go that far now. So Marfa is designated Keeper of the Sacred Bottle Opener. We had a crisis last year when some of our group bought beer that required an opener. (Pizza without beer, I mean, come on, that just ain't right.) I swore to pack the Opener of the Beer (and a corkscrew for the non-beer drinkers) for this year, and now I cannot be there. Marfa must carry the torch, er, opener. Sniffffff....

Otherwise, life is interesting. May has already kicked off to a wild start. I can't wait to see what the rest of the month brings.