Targeting Teresa Heinz Kerry. Yep, I think she summed it up nicely, and I think the KR kvetching about her reflected this attitude. We're not ready for political wives with lives and personalities of their own. She was just too flashy - speaking all those languages, looking so sexy with that case of borderline bed head instead of a perfect hairspray helmet, and a husband who thinks she's great just as she is and had no desire to tone her down - in short, they were criticized for not being a Stepford Wife married to a Powerful Man. They just didn't Act Right. (No pun intended, but it does work.)

I think this is just as much about how we (speaking in the vague global we) "see" other people's relationships, and that there is more than a bit of "He should have his woman under control!" in the thinking. This is disturbing on so many levels -first, that it's even a topic in the 21st century, and then, that simply being a woman comfortable to be herself with a husband who "lets" her do it (more on that later) is an issue.

I have some firsthand experience with this. First, the negative - over a decade ago, the household took a side trip to the Research Triangle area (North Carolina, for you Canadians). My husband was offered a job there, and it seemed like a good opportunity for all of us, so we went. I never did find a job in construction law, but did find a decent-ish long-term-temp gig doing bankruptcy and some environmental stuff in a very nice, very progressive and technologically-hip firm. During my tenure there, I took a trip to Chicago to do a theater and restaurants long weekend with some friends. The reaction at the office was, "Your husband lets you travel alone?" I was like, "Uh, LETS me?" It never occurred to either of us that he had the right to veto a weekend trip to hang out with a bunch of women doing chick stuff. He'd cleared his travel schedule so he'd be in town with the kids, they were looking forward to a weekend of eating whatever junk they wanted and watching trash TV, everybody was happy. But there was some shock and awe in the henhouse of that law firm, let me tell you. This didn't happen in THEIR households - and this was not from the old broads who were the age I am NOW, this was from 20 and early-30 somethings (as I was then myself). So yeah, I can understand THK being an alien among a certain brand of woman, whose husband holds veto power over her life. Been there, seen that. You're too exotic for them.

On the positive side - some years after that experience my husband worked for an international company, and worked with some engineers from a Middle Eastern nation which shall remain nameless (but we haven't invaded it) who had very conservative stay-at-home wives. (The wives' option, their husbands didn't keep them home barefoot and pregnant, nothing like that.) He reported to me that they envied him, they thought I was too cool. I was so independent, I traveled for business and pleasure and had my own friends, we had our own lives apart from each other as well as our married life. He reported that they told him often that they wished their wives were like me, and he was so lucky.

So anyway, though THK is way richer and way more educated and way more powerful than I will ever be, I felt I understood her and the criticism that was thrown her way, because I know that mindset does exist. And I don't think it comes from the men.

Abrupt shift to knitting talk - Last Minute Knitted Gifts. What a gorgeous book, beautifully photographed and well laid out. Small knitted luxuries, as you can guess from the title, but very fashionable and fun. Scarves and bags and hats and bunnies and leg warmers and a couple of sweaters, all simple and elegant. I'm glad I splurged on it, though I need another knitting book like a hole in the head. I saw at least three things I want to do and that's not counting bunnies and hats for charity. I love the baby bonnet - that style is so classic and sensible, I am sure the family photo boxes have pictures of me in one just like it, knitted by my Gram or one of the herd of Great Aunts. It's a really old, very classic pattern, updated in a finer and classier and softer fiber. It works because 1) it covers delicate baby ears; 2) it is tied on so it won't displace itself during naps; and 3) it has no bobbles/brims/bumps/eyes/ears/tails to make uncomfortable lumps under the head of that sleeping little person. It's just warm. That's what knitted things should be. Warm and not annoying. But that's just me talking. You can ignore anything posted here, it's just my arrogant opinion. That's what blogs are for.